Let's Get Physical

Heard all together too often around the Cunningham/D'Andrea household as of late:

"Baby, look how ____ my ____ is!"
"Oh my God, your ____ are ____!"
"Um, why are my ____ purple?"
"Good lord, why do I have ____ here?"
"Holy shit, is that a ___ on your ____?"
"I'm having a meltdown because I just discovered a ____!" 

Yes, Gentle Reader, the continued physical joys of pregnancy are never-ending. And you will thank me for sparing you the details.  Tim is not so lucky. 

Mind/Body/Baby

It is a bizarre experience to have one's body change so quickly and so drastically.  One's mind simply cannot keep up.  I mean, in my head, I am still myself.  I still want to spend long afternoons drinking beer and bar-hopping with Tim.  I still have the urge to eat sushi and rare meat and runny eggs.  I still want to wear 4-inch heels.  I still want to lift heavy things and sweat while working out and walk up Pine without being winded.  I am still the fun-loving, nonpregnant girl I used to be.  But my body begs to differ.

Beer and nigiri and beef carpaccio are out.  Super foods and Omega-3s and vitamins are in.  Sexy shoes are out.  Shoe pads and (yikes) support hose are are in.  Running and hardcore cardio are out.  Mellow yoga while communing with my unborn child and slow walks around Green Lake are in. 

And then, of course, we have the physical changes.  The changes that shock me when I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror.  The changes that seem to continue each and every day without fail.  The changes that make me feel, well, not like me. 

I am exisiting in someone else's body.  And I am not alone.  I have company.  All of the time. 

And so, for the next 4 months, we will coexist.  The three of us:  Mind/Body/Baby, together in an ever-expanding vessel.

Compartments Where Stuff Can Go

So I haven't blogged at all since getting pregnant.  Seriously, it's pretty much to the day.  I've been thinking about it a lot, running through ideas and words in my head, actually crafting posts, but not quite getting aroung to writing them.  Why?  For awhile I assumed it was because we didn't announce our pregnancy right away.  But even after it was all Facebook-worthy, I still held back.  It's not lack of time or inclination or fodder.  Nope.  See, writing it all down would make it real.  When I write, I am forced to look fears and flaws head on.  Reality becomes tangible and visible and clear.

I haven't been denying the fact that I am with child.  Of course not.  It's just that there are so many thoughts, fears, hopes, worries, excitements that go along with it.  It's just *so much* to think about, to process, to take in.  And so, I compartmentalize.  Today, I will think about our birth plan.  Tomorrow, I will think about breast-feeding.  On the weekend, I'll tackle childcare and money issues. 

And so, after 21 weeks on hiatus, this blog is back.  I think I'm finally ready to put some of these thoughts on paper (or laptop, as it were) and bust down the dividers in the compartment.  And if not, well, as Scarlett might say in the year 2011 - I just won't blog today.  No, I'll blog about this tomorrow.