Compartments Where Stuff Can Go

So I haven't blogged at all since getting pregnant.  Seriously, it's pretty much to the day.  I've been thinking about it a lot, running through ideas and words in my head, actually crafting posts, but not quite getting aroung to writing them.  Why?  For awhile I assumed it was because we didn't announce our pregnancy right away.  But even after it was all Facebook-worthy, I still held back.  It's not lack of time or inclination or fodder.  Nope.  See, writing it all down would make it real.  When I write, I am forced to look fears and flaws head on.  Reality becomes tangible and visible and clear.

I haven't been denying the fact that I am with child.  Of course not.  It's just that there are so many thoughts, fears, hopes, worries, excitements that go along with it.  It's just *so much* to think about, to process, to take in.  And so, I compartmentalize.  Today, I will think about our birth plan.  Tomorrow, I will think about breast-feeding.  On the weekend, I'll tackle childcare and money issues. 

And so, after 21 weeks on hiatus, this blog is back.  I think I'm finally ready to put some of these thoughts on paper (or laptop, as it were) and bust down the dividers in the compartment.  And if not, well, as Scarlett might say in the year 2011 - I just won't blog today.  No, I'll blog about this tomorrow.