Margaret Atwood, my favorite author, says in Cat's Eye, "Time is not a line but a dimension. You don't look back along time but down through it, like water. Sometimes this comes to the surface, sometimes that, sometimes nothing. Nothing ever goes away."
This makes sense to me. Good sense. It also helps me justify time travel in my head. And I love the idea of time travel.
But even so, isn't it strange how, after a relationship ends, it's so hard to remember the details later on. It's almost like a dream, or a story you heard from someone else a long time ago. Like it never really happened to you at all.
But once in a while, all of a sudden, something reminds you of him. A song, a smell, a voice, and there it is. So I guess Margaret is right after all. Nothing ever goes away. Even if you wish it would.
Saturday, January 31, 2009
Monday, January 26, 2009
The Official Soundtrack from The Original Life
I am the sort of person that needs the right music to get motivated to do *anything*. When I went bungy-jumping in NZ, I made the bungy-jumping operator guy, much to his excitement, change the radio station until I found an appropriate song to jump to. "C'mon and Take a Look Outside", incidentally, an NZ band and song. I love theme music.
Really, having the right music totally sets the tone of your day or your mood or your conversation. It's kind of like having your very own soundtrack. Music can totally fire us up or make us cry. When I was going through my divorce, my theme song was definitely "Title and Registration" by Death Cab for Cutie. Well, okay, let's be honest here. First it was NIN's "Only Me", and after I'd gotten the yelling and throwing shit out of the way, the sadness and the Death Cab could set in.
At the hard start, long distance time of me and Tim's relationship, it was Bright Eyes "Walk Away." And I know I passed that particular theme song on to at least two others. Definitely going on the soundtrack.
Or you can hear a song, and it can completely take us back to another time and place or light up an old friend's face in our mind. Make us burst out laughing at the memory.
Lisa sang "The Boxer" to me at Epcot waiting for the fireworks to start.
Katie and I drunkenly forced our other sober friends to sit down and watch us dance to "Holiday".
There are countless Albion songs that will always remind me of Dave and Jay and Dave and Kristin and Kel.
Of course, there's always the good ol' mopping song for Davia (It's Oh So Quiet).
I wish I'd made a mix tape every month or two of my life. You know, just fill a 90 minute tape with all of the songs of the moment, the songs that defined my life at that particular period. Oh, what a topsy-turvy musical rollercoaster of an autobiography that would be.
But what about now? I'm struggling to think of a theme song for right now. I like to listen to Rilo Kiley while I cook. And I'm digging Sons & Daughters for a dance party. But I can't think of one song that really defines *me* right now.
What's yours? I won't steal it. I promise. Sort of.
Really, having the right music totally sets the tone of your day or your mood or your conversation. It's kind of like having your very own soundtrack. Music can totally fire us up or make us cry. When I was going through my divorce, my theme song was definitely "Title and Registration" by Death Cab for Cutie. Well, okay, let's be honest here. First it was NIN's "Only Me", and after I'd gotten the yelling and throwing shit out of the way, the sadness and the Death Cab could set in.
At the hard start, long distance time of me and Tim's relationship, it was Bright Eyes "Walk Away." And I know I passed that particular theme song on to at least two others. Definitely going on the soundtrack.
Or you can hear a song, and it can completely take us back to another time and place or light up an old friend's face in our mind. Make us burst out laughing at the memory.
Lisa sang "The Boxer" to me at Epcot waiting for the fireworks to start.
Katie and I drunkenly forced our other sober friends to sit down and watch us dance to "Holiday".
There are countless Albion songs that will always remind me of Dave and Jay and Dave and Kristin and Kel.
Of course, there's always the good ol' mopping song for Davia (It's Oh So Quiet).
I wish I'd made a mix tape every month or two of my life. You know, just fill a 90 minute tape with all of the songs of the moment, the songs that defined my life at that particular period. Oh, what a topsy-turvy musical rollercoaster of an autobiography that would be.
But what about now? I'm struggling to think of a theme song for right now. I like to listen to Rilo Kiley while I cook. And I'm digging Sons & Daughters for a dance party. But I can't think of one song that really defines *me* right now.
What's yours? I won't steal it. I promise. Sort of.
Sunday, January 25, 2009
And you can tell everybody that this is your poem...
I miss Tim. But he's coming home today! In celebration of his homecoming, I'm posting the first poem I ever wrote for him. Cheesy, maybe. What can I say?
It's Fall Again
the sun is hot
and his hand is on my back
I'm dying to kiss him
and when I finally do
the sky cracks open
It's Fall Again
the sun is hot
and his hand is on my back
I'm dying to kiss him
and when I finally do
the sky cracks open
Friday, January 23, 2009
Dear Dish Network....
Dear Dish Network,
How are you? I am not fine. In fact, I am very, very far from fine. I am sure you know that the season premiere of LOST was on Wednesday night. Unfortunately, because of numerous circumstances all involving the Dish, I do not know if the Oceanic 6 have made it back to the Island. I do not know how John Locke died. I do not know what is up with the time and space continueum. Imagine my disappointment after watching four seasons of LOST back to back, hurrying through season 4 just to be caught up for the premier, to not have access to the show because of your inferior broadcasting.
But rest assured: I am not just angry with you. There is another source of my discontent: the local ABC channel, KOMO 4. You are, apparently, unable to reach an agreeement and so we do not have ABC. I'm sure that both of you just want more than you are entitled to, and thus, your subscribers now have to pay the price.
And yes, smart guy, I realize I can watch LOST online. I know this. But it is not the same. And also not the point.
And furthermore, after converting to an HD TV a few months ago, we needed to have a Dish upgrade. After waiting for a month to get the dude out to our place, we were told that we could not upgrade because there is a tree in the way of the satellite. A tree. The satellite signal comes FROM SPACE, and a tree that is two feet in width is preventing me from watching HD TV. Of course. And do you know, dearest Dish network, what your employee said? He said, "Why don't you call DirectTV? Their satellite is about two feet to the right of the tree. It will work for you." Um, okay.
So Dish Network, that is what we did. And on February 1, DirectTV will be broadcasting at our house. And on February 4, we will watch LOST, and we will drink a toast to you.
With no love LOST,
Emily xoxo
How are you? I am not fine. In fact, I am very, very far from fine. I am sure you know that the season premiere of LOST was on Wednesday night. Unfortunately, because of numerous circumstances all involving the Dish, I do not know if the Oceanic 6 have made it back to the Island. I do not know how John Locke died. I do not know what is up with the time and space continueum. Imagine my disappointment after watching four seasons of LOST back to back, hurrying through season 4 just to be caught up for the premier, to not have access to the show because of your inferior broadcasting.
But rest assured: I am not just angry with you. There is another source of my discontent: the local ABC channel, KOMO 4. You are, apparently, unable to reach an agreeement and so we do not have ABC. I'm sure that both of you just want more than you are entitled to, and thus, your subscribers now have to pay the price.
And yes, smart guy, I realize I can watch LOST online. I know this. But it is not the same. And also not the point.
And furthermore, after converting to an HD TV a few months ago, we needed to have a Dish upgrade. After waiting for a month to get the dude out to our place, we were told that we could not upgrade because there is a tree in the way of the satellite. A tree. The satellite signal comes FROM SPACE, and a tree that is two feet in width is preventing me from watching HD TV. Of course. And do you know, dearest Dish network, what your employee said? He said, "Why don't you call DirectTV? Their satellite is about two feet to the right of the tree. It will work for you." Um, okay.
So Dish Network, that is what we did. And on February 1, DirectTV will be broadcasting at our house. And on February 4, we will watch LOST, and we will drink a toast to you.
With no love LOST,
Emily xoxo
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
My Love of Mix Tapes
I miss mix tapes. I miss making them. I miss getting them. I miss deciding that I'm going to make one for someone. And then there's choosing the songs. Every single song had to have a deeper meaning, a specific purpose for putting it on the tape. My Number One Best Friend Katie and I stayed up all night one night in high school making mix tapes. One was bouncy fun, fun, fun and called "Shiny Happy People", and another depressing, suicide-facilitating stuff called....Hmm. Maybe "Here Comes The Flood"? We were going through a Peter Gabriel phase.
I miss mix tapes. I just don't feel CDs are the same. It's something about having to listen to each song carefully, and stopping it at just the right spot, and knowing which songs would fit on to your 90 minute tape. So much more love went into them. I always used to end my mix tapes with "Please, please, please..." by the Smiths. Super short song, always fit no matter how much room was left on the tape.
I miss mix tapes. A friend from high school, Kate Hinote, and I decided to exchange mix tapes one year for Hanukkah. Neither one of us is Jewish, but it seemed like a good plan. Her tape changed my life as it contained three songs by Tori Amos from Little Earthquakes. Nothing like hearing "Silent All These Years" as an angsty 16 year old.
I once made a mix for a guy named Jason. He wasn't anything special to me. We actually barely knew each other. Can't remember why I made the tape for him even. But the next day he held up the tape and told me I was a goddess. A mix tape made me a goddess.
Yeah, I miss mix tapes.
I miss mix tapes. I just don't feel CDs are the same. It's something about having to listen to each song carefully, and stopping it at just the right spot, and knowing which songs would fit on to your 90 minute tape. So much more love went into them. I always used to end my mix tapes with "Please, please, please..." by the Smiths. Super short song, always fit no matter how much room was left on the tape.
I miss mix tapes. A friend from high school, Kate Hinote, and I decided to exchange mix tapes one year for Hanukkah. Neither one of us is Jewish, but it seemed like a good plan. Her tape changed my life as it contained three songs by Tori Amos from Little Earthquakes. Nothing like hearing "Silent All These Years" as an angsty 16 year old.
I once made a mix for a guy named Jason. He wasn't anything special to me. We actually barely knew each other. Can't remember why I made the tape for him even. But the next day he held up the tape and told me I was a goddess. A mix tape made me a goddess.
Yeah, I miss mix tapes.
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