Us v. Them

Every day I am again reminded of the huge differences between men and women. Case in point: yesterday a bunch of us were hanging out. One of our friends brought one of his friends out with us. Let's call this friend of a friend "Dexter". I am not a fan of Dexter's. Tim's not a fan. Really, no one enjoys being around this guy. He's rude, arrogant, gross, obnoxious. Tim says he's harmless, but I just get a really creepy feeling about him.

Now the big difference between us and them.

Women wish to benefit in some way from our relationships. We are friends with people that bring something to our lives. We seek out relationships with people that challenge us and inspire us. We look at these relationships and ask ourselves what we're getting from them. We analyze them. We're not friends with other women just for the sake of being friends. We have expectations from our friendships.

Men do not.

Last night, I asked someone why he is friends with Dexter. "What does he bring to your life? What does he bring to the friendship?" And he couldn't answer me! I think he stammered something like, "Well, he's funny. He's such an idiot. We can laugh at him. Comic relief, you know." I find this disturbing. You're friends with Dexter so you can make fun of him? That seems to be an extremely low expectation of this friendship. And I asked Tim about it, and apparently, it makes perfect sense to him. Perfect sense.

And so, there you have it. Another fundamental difference between us and them. And like usual, I am so happy to be on this side of the fence.