Friday, March 6, 2009

Oh, Baby!

So it seems that I have no maternal instinct. None.
The absolute cutest baby in the world was cooing and crawling all over our place last night, and while I think she’s adorable, I am not feeling that rush of baby-fever that everyone else my age seems to be having. Am I just being selfish? Scared? Tim seems to be a complete natural at being a father. It was totally effortless. When I called him out on it, he says no, it’s just that he gets distracted by new things. A baby could just as easily be a cat or something shiny. Hmm. This sounds doubtful. I think he’s trying to make me feel better about this womanly gene I seem to be missing.
And that’s the big question, isn’t it? If, for some reason, as a woman you choose not to have a child, are you less of a woman? Society appears to say yes. And while I have never been one to choose the traditional path, I too feel this pressure to getting married, have kids, buy a minivan, and go to Disney World on vacation. If I don’t do those things, will I regret it later on? And is that a valid reason for doing anything? Fear that if you don’t, you’ll just regret it later on?
And why don’t men struggle with these issues? I can tell you for a fact that Tim isn’t up nights trying to decide if fatherhood is in his future. And he’s certainly not questioning himself as a MAN in relation to being a father.
And even if he were, apparently, he would be quickly be distracted by something shiny.

1 comment:

  1. I am at the opposite end of the spectrum on this. I want the baby train to get rolling, like, yesterday. I think even if you miss your window and decide later that you're missing out you still have the adoption option, and even if that becomes not an option there are lots of ways to involve children in your life in important ways besides the "traditional" parenting route. But I know this is hard to relax about. I know, because i can't seem to relax myself about it. :)

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